@Sassafrantz: When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
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@claire_mudie: My boyfriend is watching Glee voluntarily and tapping his foot and smiling. That makes me a lesbian now, right?
@danorslim: Me: You wanna have sex tonight? GF: I'm not in the mood babe. Me: Hold on a second. I'm on the phone.
@RealCarrotFacts: Putting a carrot next to you in bed can almost fill the space where Megan used to slep