@Sassafrantz: When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
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@Elizasoul80: [God creating mosquitoes] "I wonder how I could get everyone to spray chemicals on themselves and also slap their own faces."
@jonnysun: if u went back in time to kill hitler, itd be easier to kil pre-war hitler but then all the germans woud b like "yo why did u kill that kid"
@_Tempo11: Exits public bathroom stall Makes eye contact with the person next in line Mouths: "I'm so sorry"
@MartaEffing: I joked at school drop off that the white stuff on my kid was powdered sugar, not cocaine, but I took it too far by rubbing some on my gums.