@Sassafrantz: When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@samthe8th: When I go to the movies alone, I take a clipboard so everyone thinks I'm a professional movie reviewer and not an awkward friendless loner.
@rolldiggity: When your date asks about your hobbies, DON'T grab her table knife in a napkin and say, "Collecting knives with strangers' prints on them."
@thenatewolf: "Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?" I asked. She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.
@truegritrumble: KID:I drew you a picture! ME:What's this? KID:Our house. ME:What's the orange stuff? KID:Fire. ME:Why's the house on fire? KID:I wanna PS4.