@Elizasoul80: When people tell me I look like my mother, I assume they mean disappointed.
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@BuckyIsotope: “I don’t have to run faster than the bear. I just have to run faster than you,” I say to my hiking companion. It is Usain Bolt. A bear waves
@shkeeber: I've been standing in IKEA with a lamp shade on my head for 3 days, hiding from the cops.
@anon_mommy: Hubby's ex emailed him wanting to "reconnect". I wanna pretend to be him & set it up so I can re CONNECT my foot up her ass
@ayyyyloser: How to handle a one night stand the next morning: 1. Put on Titanic 2. He's gone, that's it