@Elizasoul80: When people tell me I look like my mother, I assume they mean disappointed.
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@RobDenBleyker: This Independence Day please remember that fireworks are not a toy, they are meant to be aimed at the nearest British ship.
@TellingTellers: An interrogator that just goes into the room and loudly eats a peach until the suspect confesses to everything.
@EliTerry: Sometimes if I trip on a crack I act like it's no biggie by breaking into a jog and don't stop until I'm in a new city with a new life.
@Dawn_M_: I'm crying and wearing a falcon glove so I get sympathy sex from people who think my falcon flew away.