@Elizasoul80: When people tell me I look like my mother, I assume they mean disappointed.
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@LMuenster: [orders 2,000 Big Macs thinking I'll only have to tell my mom 'I love her' for them] Cashier: that'll be $5,364.32 Me: shit
@djdarrellripley: Me: Who could that be? It's 2:00 in the morning. Her: I don't know. Do burglars knock? Me: It depends on how they were raised...
@TheMichaelRock: I just found my old Nokia phone from 2003. It still has 87% battery life left.