@onelongbender: When people tell me I'm intimidating, I generally just glare at them until they take it back.
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@alfageeek: What's the new etiquette rule: am I supposed to wait until everyone is done photographing their meals before I start eating mine?
@Tw1tter_K1tten: My cat's name is Isis, so you can imagine my horror when I turned on the news and saw "Isis believed to be allied with Al-Qaeda"
@iwearaonesie: wife: Why didn't you talk to me about getting a goat? me [stops feeding the goat] You would have said no