@Tups13: When people tell me to get my act together I have to explain that this is not an act, I really am this incompetent.
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@JohnLyonTweets: C'mon, when have I ever let you down? That was rhetorical, actually. Yes, that is a lot. Wow, did not expect you to bring out a chalkboard.
@tangledteatime: Me: Am I your only friend? Imaginary friend: Sure are! Imaginary friend's imaginary friend: Wow, I'm right here.
@MarfSalvador: teacher: we found drugs in your son's school bag me: oh wow ok teacher: it's worrying me: very *rubbing chin* he should've sold them all by now