@hdaniels_00: When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning", I sleep til noon because I am a problem solver
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@lovemydogduck: Are designated drivers only for people who drink?? Coz I've already dropped my keys twice just walking to my car.
@hazelmotes1: Superman: I'm my own worst enemy. Lex Luthor: oh. That's nice. I'm literally standing right here.
@BuckyIsotope: Void? Y E S F R I E N D Why are you laughing? A J O K E Tell me? W H Y D I D T H E M A N D I E A L O N E I don't get it Y O U W I L L
@RandySmithWhat: "[I] broke up with him because I was sick of justifying his trench coat to my friends" - Overheard on the bus