@WilliamRodgers: When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem Solver
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@KristinHalbrook: Advice for all girls: You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. But you catch the most flies with corpses.
@Jesssicle: Eating a cucumber would be the 2nd worst way to discover that you are allergic to cucumbers.
@Brampersandon_: [White House] Any ideas on how to defeat ISIS? *Biden excitedly raises hand* Besides assembling the Avengers. *Biden dejectedly lowers hand*