@Love_bug1016: When people try to play games with you, simply choose not to play. Unless it's Naked Twister. Never turn down Naked Twister.
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@SatansTongue: Give me a massage "Mm okay" *rubs oil all over her* *things get hot* *things get too hot* *she bursts into flames* "Dang I used petroleum"
@robfee: Families in horror movies: *A ghost eats the dog* Hmm probably just the wind. Me at night: *floor creaks*THIS PLACE IS HAUNTED BURN IT DOWN
@RunwayDan: Airbags should deploy in the form of balloon animals. Sure, you've been in an accident, but now you have a whimsical puppy dog.
@pixelatedboat: To be honest you were our third choice for this poisoner job but the other two got poiso... oh that was you, nice