@Love_bug1016: When people try to play games with you, simply choose not to play. Unless it's Naked Twister. Never turn down Naked Twister.
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@markedly: BANK: Someone made fraudulent charges w/ ur debit card ME: How'd you know it wasn't me B: They entered the PIN correctly 1st try M: Dear god
@kumailn: My favorite romantic comedy sub-genre is "Hugh Grant falls in love with someone for no reason."
@Jamie1947: Kanye on the beach, by the water, holding two large conch shells up to either ear. "That's incredible", he says "When did I record this?"