@YesImMatt: When people's driving tweets end mid sentence, did the paramedics find their phone and hit send?
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@OnlyFastEddie: The closest I've ever come to winning anything was that time I got picked from a lineup at the station.
@Playing_Dad: [@ Sunbeam Bread factory job interview] Boss: Your resume says you are "definitely not 3 ducks in a suit." 3 Ducks In A Suit: That's correct
@the_anastasia: My friend is so stupid she thought Alabama is a city. Don't worry, I informed her Alabama is the president.
@nghtfltguy: Women do not want to hear what you think..nnThey want to hear what they think..nnIn a deeper voice......