@YesImMatt: When people's driving tweets end mid sentence, did the paramedics find their phone and hit send?
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@lisaxy424: I set my alarm in a way to try to trick morning-me into getting up earlier, but morning-me is a math wizard and cannot be fooled.
@crylenol: Commercial for Twitter dot com: *man yells nonsense out his window* Narrator: Don't you wish there were a better way?
@ieatanddrink: Commercial for elbows: A frustrated man steers his car with totally straight arms. "Why did I go with the cheap arms?!" Narrator: "Elbows"