When Pink Floyd sings, "just another brick in the wall," it's a little bit demeaning to bricks.

@BradBroaddus: I won every fight in 1st grade. Not because I was tough, because I was 13.

33

@LosLos__: Me: I love you, too...umm... [Wife says her name] Me: See? After all these years we're still finishing each other's sentences.

1

@Monicann86: Every morning I wake up super pissed at my parents because I have to go to work instead of living off a trust fund.

58

@ThaJawn: *wakes up from surgery How did it go? Surgeon: Good, your nose only lit up twice

1

@Mikecanrant: A guy with a locked account just asked me why I never retweet him. Stay in school kids.

155

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