@nerdreign: When runner-ups in reality shows say, "I may not have won but I'm still a winner," do they understand how language and/or competition works?
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@Tmoney68: Research shows vacuum cleaners can cause hearing loss. "You should absolutely get rid of that monster," said one furry, panting scientist.
@ThisOneSayz: *getting caught filling up neighbor's trash can* Omg Karen, I just looove your trash can! Where did you get it?
@bobvulfov: [funeral] WIDOW: i—i just cant believe he's gone ME: hey [putting my hand on her shoulder] u parked ur car directly behind mine so im stuck