@nerdreign: When runner-ups in reality shows say, "I may not have won but I'm still a winner," do they understand how language and/or competition works?
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@bobvulfov: [gf falls asleep during a movie] ME: aw [i get a blanket] ME: *hitting her w/ the blanket* wake up ur missing the part with gollum's riddles
@Moldy_Jellybean: I haven't had a good nights sleep since I started wondering what holds up those blocks in Mario.
@ArfMeasures: [restaurant] DATE: Tell me something naughty about you ME: Sure [loudly chewing a steak] I haven't brought any money