@meganamram: When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it's like what am i, your maid
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@dave_cactus: [me on a ledge] COP: (through megaphone) WE'VE CALLED SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP! *Kris Kross steps out of a police van*
@sammyrhodes: Here’s a crazy idea. What if Budweiser took all that advertising money and actually made better beer?
@novicefather: I found three french fries inside my $1 McDouble. Dream big, kids. Anything is possible.