@PaulyPeligroso: When skinny girls say "I'm so fat" to fish for a compliment from me, I just agree.
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@Token_Geezer: Nah mate, when the Americans talk about football they mean that silly game where the fat men dress up as Transformers
@T_Bonezzz_: Waiter: What can I get for you? Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked? M: By anyone other than my wife
@MooseAllain: Bird seed is amazing. I sprinkled some on the garden and when I checked 10 minutes later lots of new little birds had already sprung up.
@OfficialBanks93: If a murderer wanted to lure me out of my room all he'd have to do is turn off my wifi cause sure as shit i'm gonna see why it aint working