@kimwilliamz: When somebody I blocked gets RT'd into my timeline it's like they're violating their restraining order.
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@djdarrellripley: I should have seen this breakup coming.... The nicest thing she ever said to me was, "Oh wow, that car almost hit you.”
@HonestToddler: Toddler: I don't like you. *hits* Adult: I don't like you. *tracks your movements for the rest of your life*