@kimwilliamz: When somebody I blocked gets RT'd into my timeline it's like they're violating their restraining order.
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@Nikkeya08: Unfortunately Katy Perry, I couldn't fit in the skin tight jeans so instead of a teenage dream my husband gets Blair Witch.
@TheDreamGhoul: "you're breaking up with me, here? and now?!" "it's just not working out" *both continue pedaling tandem bicycle in silence*
@osigat: When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that? Now it would be for the prescriptions.
@jasonlight73: I like to cover my tracks by ending all my Google searches with the word "hypothetically"