@kimwilliamz: When somebody I blocked gets RT'd into my timeline it's like they're violating their restraining order.
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@thetobbie: One of the worst things about being deaf has to be the inability to tell whether people are yawning or screaming...
@LizHackett: I want my house to be tidy enough so that if someone drops by unexpectedly it doesn't look like we're six days into battling a poltergeist.
@UncleDuke1969: Inspirational Tweet: Found the sock gone missing 7 weeks ago in today's clean laundry. Sometimes they come back, people. Keep the faith.
@thatdutchperson: "If all your friends jumped" 'Yes' "But if they" 'Yes' "But" 'IF I EVER GET FRIENDS I'M GOING TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT ME TO, OK MOM?