@iAmDelFreaky: When somebody unfollows me, I want to go on a shopping spree and walk into their house while holding bags and say, "Big mistake. Big. Huge!"
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@tigersgoroooar: Just saw a car with a license plate that says FLSH ME. Ok, douche. What are you, a dead goldfish? Flush yourself.
@Dawn_M_: I will let someone cut the line I'm waiting in, but only if they let me braid their hair from behind.
@TheHyyyype: WIFE: it's your turn to change the baby. he left you a little present haha ME: *opens diaper* how the hell did he get an x box in there??
@birbigs: I like the show on fox news where there are 4 conservative idiots yelling at one liberal idiot.