@VerbsRProudest: When someone accuses you of being defensive, you can't deny it without sounding defensive. Just hurl a flower pot. No one expects that.
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@underchilde: Do doctors actually use drugs to induce comas or is it just easier if they start talking about golf?
@Donna_McCoy: Reasons to evacuate before a hurricane: 5. Winds 4. Flooding 3. Power outages 2. No pizza delivery 1. Wet socks
@MyPornKhan: When folks unfollow me shortly after they've followed me I just figure they sobered up.
@platinum2000: If you're suddenly feeling warm and wet, it might be because I put your Voodoo doll somewhere warm and wet.