@curlymalloy: When someone ask me... How are you?... I answer back... You mean in bed?
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@QwertyJones3: GUY ABOUT TO MURDER ME: What are you doing ME: I'm naming you godfather to my kids. Now you get them if anything happens to me GUY: DAMMIT
@LostFelicia: The number of Piña coladas I drank on vacation is this (my daughter doesn't want to cruise with me again) many.