@CalmTomb: Tonight on The History Channel's Dying in the Woods: Eric dies in the woods.

@jordanklepper: I bought a dog so I wouldn't feel creepy picking up poop off the sidewalk

@Donna_McCoy: It's like campers and hikers don't understand that nature will come to you if you just don't mow the lawn.

@matt___nelson: *walks up to dealer* I would like 3 weeds please "Are you a cop?" No I love crime and tomfoolery "..." Could I also get a bushel of cocaine?

@DillDoes: *throws king crab into tank of normal crabs* Go, lead them to freedom, this is your birthright