@SuperRandomish: When someone asks how I feel, I always answer "Squishy and like I've done something wrong"
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@nbadag: ME: here's your bday present! BUDDY: [tries to grab it but it won't budge] did u wrap your own hand flipping the bird again ME: just open it
@MesutOzilClass: Arsenal did the mannequin challenge for 89minutes at Old Trafford and still drew.😂
@Brampersandon_: ME: forgive me father for I have sinned PRIEST: nothing that can’t be forgiven my son ME: I microwave my pop tarts PRIEST: u sick son of a