@SuperRandomish: When someone asks how I feel, I always answer "Squishy and like I've done something wrong"
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@CopBroughtPizza: [galileo's wife walks in] *quickly pointing the telescope from the neighbor's window to the sky* i was just studying the... phases of venus.
@Quartzjixler: We will require you to do something somewhat onerous and time-comsuming and then introduce impediments to completing it. - my employer