@psinerd: When someone asks me if I could hold their baby I immediately drop my phone, try to pick it up and drop it again twice, and then say "Sure".
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@ComedySpeech: Sharks aren't the bad guys. If some stranger entered my house in just a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
@wendyraepearce: My twitter crush just broke up with me for saying WWE wasn't real. The irony is not lost here.