@Glorificus917: When someone asks me if I'm seeing anyone, I automatically assume they're talking about a psychiatrist.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jackiembouvier: I bought a bathing suit yesterday and the automated voice said "unexpected item in bagging area".
@Izianikapani: "Do people really become like their pets?" I wonder, absentmindedly raising a leg above my head and staring into space.
@Smooheed: Every night it sounds like my neighbors take turns at running headfirst into their walls
@OutOfLeftField_: If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case.