@Jake_Vig: When someone compliments you, etiquette dictates that you respond with "That is accurate."
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@ChaseMit: Hey Chandler, wanna hang out with me, Phoebe and Monica later? We're going to the park to open and close umbrellas in a fountain.
@detroit_et: Girl on Facebook Heyy i have not seen u since high school. Me. It's been a while. Her. Yea been married 6 years now : ) Me. Unfriend
@JohnLyonTweets: Interviewer: [looking through file] Are you still disruptive at nap time? Me: Wow, they weren't kidding about that permanent record thing.