@SomeChrisTweets: When someone ends a sentence with "af" they were hastily trying to type "A FALCON DESCENDS UPON ME" but could not make it in time.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Kids, we can go to the pet expo BUT WE ARE NOT GETTING ANY ANIMALS. WE ALREADY HAVE A DOG *leaves with two lizards, a fish & a baby giraffe
@DCpierson: MOST RESTAURANTS: Waiter: "Have you dined with us before?" You: "No." Waiter: "Oh! Well, (*proceeds to describe a normal restaurant*)"