@SomeChrisTweets: When someone ends a sentence with "af" they were hastily trying to type "A FALCON DESCENDS UPON ME" but could not make it in time.
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@rhysjamesy: I go trick or treating dressed as a postman early in the morning and do the postman's exact route one house ahead so no one trusts him.
@daplusk: I want to meet someone who enjoys long walks along the beach, so I have enough time to sit at home alone and tweet
@OtherDanOBrien: *hot girl puts a cherry stem in her mouth* *twists it around with her tongue* *pulls it out* *it spells "I LIKE YOU AS A FRIEND"*