@BBQJones28: When someone favorites instead of retweeting me I comfort myself by thinking "they're just keeping me to themselves"
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@SortaBad: "Mind control agents in chem trails sounds crazy? That's EXACTLY what the govt wants" Bride: I shouldn't have let you write your own vows
@Brentweets: I let an AT&T Customer Service Representative call me Brenda for a half hour because I was too embarrassed to correct him
@Shanehasabeard: Haha, I feel sorry for all you losers who missed out on the Bitcoin train. You should've bought in years ago, like me: A perfectly normal man who coincidentally hoarded a virtual currency during a time when it's only use was for sex trafficking and purchasing organs.
@buhsbaby_baby: Can I get pregnant from looking at a man in another car, at a red light but then quickly looking away when he looks over?