@bridger_w: When someone has a baby, I'm just like, OK, clearly you were desperate to have someone to hang out with
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@AristotlesNZ: Before their conflict with the Decepticons, the Autobots won a much less interesting but emotionally charged war against the Emoticons.
@iAmDelFreaky: This is embarrassing. I tunneled through my wall to escape work and ended up in my boss's office. He's watching me tweet this. I'm fired.
@Reverend_Scott: Strangers are friends you haven't met yet. Friends are lovers you haven't kissed yet. Lovers are corpses you haven't killed yet.
@pleatedjeans: I should've never taught my parrot to say the alphabet backwards now he drives drunk all the time the cops can't do shit it's a real problem