@InternetHippo: “When someone is mad at you, that’s THEIR problem” and other advice from my upcoming book, ‘Where Did All My Friends Go’
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@goldengateblond: “She liked it but it didn’t have a bay window for her cat,” said the House Hunters narrator before walking into the sea.
@louisvirtel: I was worried that Tim Kaine was too boring and then I remembered entertainment is what got us into this mess.
@AdmiralAkbrown: I get so fustrated when people say "supposably" or "irregardless" I feel like I'm literally drownding
@KentWGraham: Should I be suspicious if my wife sends me to pick up something she bought on Craig’s List just a week after we updated our life insurance?