@LooseTalks_Girl: When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. That says everything about marriage.
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@dafloydsta: [couples therapy] HER: He's always talking down to me ME: *heavy sigh* It's called being condescending but I doubt you knew that, Karen
@trevso_electric: Gum commercials exaggerate your odds of kissing a complete stranger in public by 780,000,000%
@randomlawless: My coworker replaced her chair with an exercise ball to "work her core." I'm eating a giant chocolate chip cookie for breakfast. I win.