@LooseTalks_Girl: When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. That says everything about marriage.
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@markleggett: You can eat up to three spiders every night in your sleep, except on "cheat days" when you can eat as many as you like.
@LindaInDisguise: I just opened a marketing email from Fitness magazine and my computer died laughing.
@SamePageDifDay: Soo... I guess when he asked for my number he didn't mean how many lovers I've had?
@mexinonblonde: "Quit mowing your lawn you heathen and go to church!" -Me as I put in earplugs and go back to bed on a Sunday morning.