@OneLastStranger: When someone looks over my shoulder while I'm on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."
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@Adar79Angie: Local news : box full of kittens mistaken for a bomb. I have to go to this town. I may be mistaken for Megan Fox.
@withanewname: "Son, you can practice the sex on holes in trees" "DAD?!" [next day] "Where you going with that broom handle?" "Checkin for squirrels"