@WistfulBlue: When someone loves you a lot they will buy you a burrito even when you're not hungry so you can get fat and no one else will love you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Dorkstress: Cop: Ma'am, what's in the bottle? Me: Just some water. Cop: Ma'am that's wine... Me: Jesus did it again!!
@Dana_Bruno: My dog's pissed cos I buy him Senior food. He won't admit he's older now. So I scratch out the "i" on each can & tell him it's Mexican food.
@TravLeBlanc: My friend went to a salon and asked them to straighten his hair. So they took out his highlights.
@iinkedZombie: All of these people are screaming like they've never seen someone revving a chainsaw on a public beach.