@WistfulBlue: When someone loves you a lot they will buy you a burrito even when you're not hungry so you can get fat and no one else will love you.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PoblicMenace: If using your 4yo as a remote control to fetch things makes you a bad parent, then I'm a bad parent... A bad parent with an ice cold beer.
@DannyZuker: My son's soccer coach just said, "You can't spell "triumph" without 'try,'" and the look my son and I shared will bond us forever.
@krustythe_klown: The travel toothbrush has to be the greatest invention ever. Can you imagine having to lug around one of those regular heavy ones?
@foodandwhining: People with eyebrow, nose, and lip piercings always look like they landed face-first into a tackle box.