@Brianhopecomedy: When someone rings the doorbell I say to my kids, "I think it's Santa Claus!" so I don't have to get up.
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@LaBaPete: Not everyone understands my laundry method. It's simple. If it's clean, it's on the floor. If it's dirty, it's on the floor over there.
@bobbiejo448: This Xanax script says I should take one daily as needed but I'm pretty sure they meant per child so, including the dogs, that makes five.
@funnyoneliners: I want my children to be independent headstrong people. Just not while I'm raising them.
@tillygirl3: All the Pringle ladies All the Pringle ladies All the Pringle ladies All the Pringle ladies Get their hands stuck