@facciabella: When someone says "everything happens for a reason," I stab them and laugh, just so they know I understand.
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@SortaBad: After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I've successfully installed Java. He hates me.
@notacroc: Therapist: what's upsetting you? Wife: he's always using common phrases incorrectly Me: cry me a table, Linda
@TheMichaelRock: December 23rd should be called Christmas Adam since it always comes before Christmas Eve.
@Book_Krazy: Mike said he's breaking up w/ u cause you're not very smart & u have issues Me: OMG I DO NOT HAVE HIS SHOES WE DONT EVEN WEAR THE SAME SIZE