@Sarcasticsapien: When someone says "excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable", how long are they usually gone? Two days seems like a long time.
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@Brampersandon_: GF (from 2nd floor window): either the trampoline goes or I go! ME: It ... was ... nice ... knowing ... you
@LuvPug: *at a pizza buffet in the Midwest* Me: excuse me, can you please make a vegetarian pizza? Him: Sure! What kind of meat do you want on that?