@Sarcasticsapien: When someone says "excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable", how long are they usually gone? Two days seems like a long time.
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@dhumann: You can tell a lot about a person just by noticing how they continue to talk after you've sighed six or seven times.
@therealeatwood: GURU: You have achieved the state of sakṛdāgāmin: you will reach nirvāṇa within seven lifetimes ME: [slipping him a $20] How about six
@BradBroaddus: Our mailman freaked out when he accidentally saw me naked. So did all the other people at the post office.
@_davidlucas_: The shortest distance between two points is over a cyclist. ~Australian drivers, apparently.