@EliseRose5: When someone says, "Good luck with that'' they actually mean "Let me grab some popcorn so I can watch you fail."
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@bossy_bootz: Sorry I was staring at your nachos while you were talking about your painful divorce
@Reverend_Scott: Elmo: Oscar, why are you a grouch? Oscar: Growing up, my parents were- *stabs Elmo with broken beer bottle* CUZ I LIVE IN A TRASHCAN.
@Marshalchisomcu: if you watch Titanic from d back; it's about dead people resurrecting from the sea, pulling up a ship fixing it and sailing to England
@VeryRudeTweets: I just got kicked out of my local Laser Tag and the police were called. Apparently stabbing somebody to save ammo is not allowed.