@littlelady899: When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
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@ObscureGent: If a gorilla stole my girlfriend and started throwing barrels at a construction site, the last guy I'm gonna call for help is a plumber.
@VapingSonic: Cashier: sir the conveyor belt isn't meant for riding Me: I- I gotta know Cashier: know what? Me: *sighs* what I'm really worth. scan me
@3sunzzz: H: Did you remember to pick up the seal so the tub will stop leaking? M: *holding a baby seal* You should have been more specific.
@pixelatedboat: When I die, PLEASE don't bury me in a fancy suit. That happened to a guy I knew and it turned him into a skeleton.