@littlelady899: When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
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@Bearslietoo: Playing hard to get works with some men but apparently cops call it "resisting arrest."
@kcmoore51: [sanitation worker knocks at my door] The amount of McDonald's related trash we're collecting from your home each week has us concerned.
@lisaxy424: Me: time for bed Brain: yeah I'm tired too M: really? wow we may actually get some slee- B: hey do you think anyone's died in this house?