@littlelady899: When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
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@BBQJones28: Shout out to the dude who's followed and unfollowed approximately 25632 times this week.
@OneFunnyMummy: My kids and I are exact opposites. They cry when I walk away, and I cry when they walk towards me.
@NakedHangover: Trojan should be sponsoring Teen Mom. That show is the best advertisement for why you should always wear condoms.
@InternetHippo: MATH PROBLEM: If you give half of your apple to a friend, what do you have? ME (through tears): A…a friend