@dru0887: When someone says “No Biggie”, I reply with “not since ‘97” and immediately break down crying
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@tkhan74: I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering, 98 of them said, "How the hell did you get in here?"
@dumbbeezie: After 8 years of research and an obscene amount of funding, we have determined that bat shit is no crazier than any other shit
@theshantilly: Him: You're pretty obnoxious. You know that? Me: I'm sorry. All I heard was pretty.
@EliBraden: No one shot Rick Ross - when you're that big you're BOUND to be hit by a random stray bullet now and then