@LOsepyan: When someone says "surprise me", I immediately drop my pants and start singing its raining men.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JasonLastname: Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.
@dafloydsta: FRIEND: Just let her down easy ME: Ok [later] ME: *jumping in bouncy castle* I WANT A DIVORCE, KAREN
@BillCorbett: To celebrate Independence Day I'm finding Englishmen and then walking angrily away from them!