@jessokfine: When someone says "women like you" to me, I assume they're referring to extremely powerful wizards.
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@Tw1tter_K1tten: My cat's name is Isis, so you can imagine my horror when I turned on the news and saw "Isis believed to be allied with Al-Qaeda"
@zachreinert03: My friends holds her breath driving past cemeteries cause of superstition but I thought she just didn't want to be cocky about breathing
@StansaidAirport: Do you like freezing to death and knocking down trees with your face? Well why not book a skiing holiday?
@EndhooS: [Commercial for lawnmowers] [Exhausted looking guy stood in his garden] *Stabs a long sword into the grass* "There has to be a better way"