@Chloestylo: When someone sneezes, I whisper, "Goes in tight.." It's actually German for "Bless you", but it sounds so naughty.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Me: Want me to bring coffee up to bed? What my wife said: If you want to What I heard: If you want to live
@TheRolo: [1st date] Her: I love quail Me: Omg me too! H: Love Cher M: Omg me too! H: Love men Me: Omg me too! H: Love Pepsi M: WTF is wrong with you?
@LittleMissZesty: With me, it's not PRIDE that comes before a fall. It's half a bottle of vodka and a coffee table that I forgot existed.