@kellymcc0y: When someone spaces out their "ha ha ha's" in a text I read it in Count Dracula's voice
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@emptyheadtwo: I met a young fashion designer earlier, and it wasn't long before I was in the bedroom ripping her clothes off. I love counterfeiting stuff
@kellysdf: All those political ads are very convincing. They convinced me to stop watching television.
@spikeWilton67: Relationship Status: Got put in the friend zone by a succubus playing around on a Ouija board. I can't even get lucky in the spirit world.