@iGreenMonk: When someone tell me , "long time no see" i usually reply, "I know, we're really not that good of friends"
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@chrisrockozfan: Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.
@fatherofcomedy: They say genius skips a generation.In our case it fell off our family tree and died.
@LackOfShame: Nothing's sadder than the look on my dog's face when I reach under the kitchen table to pet her and she realizes my hand is empty.
@sad_tree: Lettuce is like that friend you only hang out with in a group with other friends. "Hang out? Who else is coming?Ham? Great. I'll be there."