@Tmoney68: When someone tells me, "I think of you as family," I assume I'm about to be yelled at for something that happened 10 years ago.
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@mrtruthandsoul: An atheist, a vegan, a libertarian, and a BMW owner walk into a bar... I only know because they told everyone in the bar within 2 minutes.
@Sammart123: Obama: Didn't think he'd be late Biden: I gave him the wrong address Obama: Joe he's the president-elect Biden: idgaf what they call him
@Papa_Mex: Big shoutout to my neighbors, who left their back door open accidentally, when I needed a few things and didn't want to go to the store...