@Tmoney68: When someone tells me, "I think of you as family," I assume I'm about to be yelled at for something that happened 10 years ago.
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@markydoodoo: Ever say hi to someone and immediately regret it because now you know you have to say hi to them forever?
@AudreyPorne: him: I wish you'd talk more during sex. me: Okay. [during sex] me: cats have 32 muscles in each ear him: please don't speak
@nbadag: [very obviously being hit on] hahaha ok well, see you around [4 days later, cutting open a cantaloupe] wait a second