@audipenny: When someone tries to argue with me I'm like "hey pal let me stop you right there" and then physically turn them around to face someone else
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@Pirate_nurse: To be clear...putting your entire fist in your mouth should be a party trick saved for after Uncle Barry leaves
@AaronFullerton: Did you know you can actually WIN Instagram by taking a picture of your feet next to your dinner at sunset?
@Doh573: Cartoons lied to me as a child. I was lead to believe quicksand was going to be a much larger problem in life.