@iGreenMonk: When someone tries to hand me a baby, I say, "No, thanks. I'm vegetarian."
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@KeetPotato: "if you could be any animal what would you be" a cat "why a cat" [imagines being a complete shithead for literally no reason] naps and stuff
@One_FineMess: Just did a spot on imitation of a new born calf while trying to gracefully exit a hammock.
@tourettzgoth: Keep an identical glass of vodka next to the glass of water on your bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette