@iGreenMonk: When someone tries to hand me a baby, I say, "No, thanks. I'm vegetarian."
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@errhmagerd: I'm in an abusive relationship. controlling, manipulative, overbearing, demanding. it's for his own good.
@riklomas: ❎ Client not paid? ✅ Add opacity to the body tag and increase it every day until their site completely fades away
@jessokfine: How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult? It's like, oh you gave birth to me? Please enjoy this fancy candle.
@trentistweeting: "Trent! Your only job was to prep the classroom for Diversity Day!" ME: *in full scuba gear* look, I think "diver city day" could be fun too