@jake_lach: When someone walks next to me at the same speed I want to grab their hand and start skipping
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@DaddyJew: [job interview] What's your biggest weakness? Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! Sorry about that. Questions, definitely questions.
@KentWGraham: After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. Usually at family gatherings where she threatens me if I don’t look happy.
@BuckyIsotope: Only 1490's kids will remember this *sails from Europe and destroys an indigenous population*