@jake_lach: When someone walks next to me at the same speed I want to grab their hand and start skipping
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@SteveSuckington: [high school reunion] "Hey aren't u the kid who used to lie and throw people under the bus all the time?" No that was Tyler.
@garrettbarry70: A pop up blocker for coworkers who send you an email and immediately show up at your desk to ask if you got their email.
@_Mo_lee_: Good cop: If you just let us know where the body is, we'll let you go Bad Batman: Ben Affleck
@efasheefaa: That moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, hit a lamp and kill a cat.