@2tickytacky: When someone yells "Fire!" at my house, I'll be the first to leap from the toilet and fall flat on my face because my legs fell asleep
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JohnHilsen: Of course climate change is man-made. It's all been meticulously orchestrated by the Titanic survivors, seeking revenge on that iceberg.
@EliTerry: "looks like a burrito fell out his pocket, hes crawling up to get it and crying. thats gonna cost points" - commentators on my snowboard run