@whalesmells: When someone you don't like is eating them, chips sound like 1000 asteroids smashing into the polar ice caps.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@VodkaThursday: Just sang & made up multiple lyrics w/ actions to "If you're happy & u know it" for thirty minutes... In case u need help writing that novel
@shanethevein: I'm not intimidated by a pretty woman. I'm intimidated by smart women, who happen to be pretty.
@kennyflorian: Can't trust CNN? Next thing ya know Nigerian royalty sending me emails will be fake.
@FaisalAdam_: Asked a girl what I had to do to get her, she said, "GET LOST!" So I stared... Realising she wasn't saying more, I asked, "which season?"