@AwkwardComedy: When someone you don't wanna see tries to make plans with you
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@Marlebean: *sees cute doctor in scrubs* *falls over* HELP! I need mouth-to-mouth! Doc: ... Me: Aren't you obligated to help? Husband: GET UP!
@murrman5: *comes home from poker night earlier than usual looks at wife while picking up the dog and leaves without saying anything*
@samalmightysam: Maybe Aliens don't visit us because they're all women and they want us to make the first move.
@Michael_Erhart: [Sea fishing] Me: This is fun. [Deep sea fishing] Me: Many men go fishing all their lives without knowing that it's not fish they're after.