@Midgetspar: When someone's all, "Words cannot begin to describe ..." I'm all YES THEY CAN YOU HAVE A LIMITED VOCABULARY.
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@DaddyJew: [at daycare] Me: I'm here to pick up my son Daycare: what's he look like? Me: *points to my face* D: oh. Ok
@13spencer: Me: *pets dog* Dog: Ruff Me: *pets dog* Dog: Ruff Me: *pets dog* Dog: Dude, I said your hands are ruff; can't you moisturize?