@Midgetspar: When someone's all, "Words cannot begin to describe ..." I'm all YES THEY CAN YOU HAVE A LIMITED VOCABULARY.
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@brocketxyz: My greatest accomplishment as a father? Teaching my son to scream, "I WANT MOMMY," whenever my wife sends me into his room.
@collegefession: "College is a cycle of having absolutely nothing to do... to having every possible paper, exam and project due in one day." - Arcadia
@dire_beard: If a child's survival depended on my ability to share bacon, I would weep greasy, bacony tears at that child's funeral.
@better_off_dad: Not to brag... ... but practically all of my arrest warrants are considered ‘outstanding’.