@chrisdowning: When something at the hardware store says it's universal, that means it will fit every model on the market except the one you have.
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@junejuly12: Ever get home, look at your hair in a mirror, and wonder how many small children you terrified while you were out
@JayCee302: I finally started writing the book on herbs I've been putting off for so long, I guess it's.. :looks directly at the camera: "About thyme"
@themiltron: [during sex] elon: say the thing grimes: ugh elon: please? grimes: *sigh* omg babe your submarine is waaaay too big for this tiny cave
@BlindChow: [breakfast in hell] STALIN: Toast is burnt POL POT: Eggs are rotten HITLER: I hate the juice STALIN: Oh here we go HITLER: I said JUICE