@JasonBerlin: When something falls in your mouth by accident and you eat it, it's a snaccident.
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@withanewname: "Doc, my boyfriend & I don't wanna get pregnant. He hates condoms & I think the jelly isn't working." "What kind are you using?" "Grape"
@sixfootcandy: (guy glaring at me because he wants to use the stationary bike) *adds 72 hours to cardio workout*
@Cpin42: I’m sick of people blaming the Internet when someone gets killed. Watch the History Channel. Hitler didn’t find the Jews on craigslist.
@DothTheDoth: The woman in the Superman underwear next to me does not quite understand how white pants work.