@DONTJIMMYMEJULZ: When speaking to children I always end every sentence with "...or else you'll die. " - I find this to be an excellent motivational tool.
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@Dutch_50: So, wearing fur is wrong but wearing a Hawaiian shirt is OK? Do they even know how many Hawaiians had to die to make that shirt?
@joeljeffrey: I'm glad chocolate bars come with resealable packages, so I can eat half now, and the other half 1 minute from now.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: She: Why don't we ever have sex anymore? Me: What's this "we" shit? I'm having plenty.